Anoint me

I recently got a book of Morning Devotions by Susannah Spurgeon: free grace and dying love. This morning, I was reading one of the entries about Psalm 92:10 - "I shall be anointed with fresh oil" and I found myself praying her prayer from her reflections as I read along. So, I thought I'd share

     Dear Lord, your Word declares, 'The anointing which ye have received of him, abideth in you.' Fulfil this promise to me, I beg you,that I may no more dishonour  you by languid or half-hearted worship or work.

     Anoint me for service, Lord, that, in all I do for you, either directly or indirectly, there may be manifested the power of the Holy Spirit, and the wholehearted earnestness which only he can supply!

     Anoint me for sacrifice, so that contrary to my sinful nature, self may be overcome, and bound, and crucified, that Christ alone may reign in my mortal body!

     Anoint me for suffering, if so it be your will, that I may praise you as I pass through the waters and the fires of affliction! 

     Anoint me for intercession, O my Father, that for others, as well as myself, I may plead with you, and may prevail! This morning, Lord, pour your holy 'oil of joy' upon my head, and let the precious, fragrant unction of your grace drop down from hour to hour on the day's garments, till the skirts of night shall enfold both body and soul in the sweet spices of the sleep which you give to your beloved!

Dreams Do Come True

The first time Tony and I talked was because he had mentioned John Wesley, and knowing him to be a Calvinist, I said something about how I was surprised to hear a Calvinist speak in such a good way about Wesley ....that obviously led to more and more conversations and the wonderful relationship we're blessed with. It also led us to frequently joke about how John Wesley brought us together.

It just so happens that our favorite city is Savannah. It also just so happens that there is a John Wesley statue in Savannah. So, back when Tony and I started talking about visiting for a weekend, I demanded we see the statue - it would only be appropriate right? ^_^

So finally, it was the Saturday we got to spend together in Savannah. We ate at local places, got to walk around all the little shops and admire all the things I'd buy my family if I were rich. (There was a really really wonderful necklace I knew my mom would love but it was $150 - sorry mom!) We took in so much of the history of the city (if you haven't been, you should go - so amazing!) Then finally, Tony said, "All right, you want to go see the John Wesley statue?" I think I actually skipped. I admit, I was daydreaming about something that could possibly happen at this statue...

We got there and did the whole tourist thing, taking pictures like the nerds we are. A man with a saxophone came in the square and started playing - Tony admits that was not planned, so I say there's nothing to call it but a God wink! Then it happened, Tony took my hands and started getting gushy (I won't share all he said. don't worry). Which, isn't abnormal for him, but I was still thinking to myself "huh, Could you be doing what I think you're doing?"

Ohh yes, he could be. He got on one knee and pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him. And of course, I said yes!! Well, actually, I couldn't speak for a moment, so I nodded, but he got the answer clearly.   There were a few people on the square who started cheering for us and one guy made us re-enact the moment so he could take a picture for us. Very kind. The saxophone player started playing here comes the bride. Great moment! When I finally could manage to say something, I asked Tony, "You really wanna marry me?"...It was just one of those moments felt so surreal - I had to ask to make sure it was actually happening. And maybe a little because he may be just a tad crazy for wanting to marry me - I hope he knows what he's getting himself into!

The day couldn't get any better. It probably seems a nerdy proposal to some people. I personally like to call it perfect. Dreams do come true.

Literally....

Several months ago, I had a dream he proposed in front of the John Wesley statue. Wild huh? Every so often the rest of the evening Tony would say, "I can't believe you dreamed about it!" or something about how God should warn with a "spoiler alert"!




"I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream...."

Sunday Searchings - July 15

Pressing On
     - Study chapters 2 and 3 of John
     - Wake at 5:00 to being studies (this goal didn't get met last week. And it's probably more important this week since I won't have as much time in the evenings to study)
     - Finish The Forgotten Trinity (also a carry over from last week - I got sidetracked researching further on something I read in there, which isn't bad, but still the book is unfinished)

Train Them Up
     - Pray for Jack and Flynn each day
     - Pray for VBS group each day
     - VBS!!! So fun
     - Take Jack and Flynn to Creative Discovery

Good, Not Harm
     - Pray for Tony each day
     - 4th study in Proverbs 31 series
     - Weekend in Savannah with Tony!

Keeper At Home
     - Keep up with some cleaning since there won't be a good time to do actual cleaning this week (good thing it got done this past week :P )
     - Make a list of things needed to make "green cleaning" supplies. Get them if I can find time.

Love At All Times
     - Call Richard on Monday for his birthday
     - Pray for family and friends each day
     - Call at least one sibling and catch up/check in

I think some of these in any category are going to be goals that will be goals every week.  I'm finding actually including them is helping me stick to them, rather than just having them in the back of my head as things I always need to do...Because ohhh how often things get stuck in the back of my head and never done. :(

Sunday Searchings - July 8

I saw on a blog a long while ago, this woman who every week would set specific goals in different areas of her life. I always thought it was a brilliant idea. I'm very much the kind of person to stick to things more if I've written down specifics about them. So, I thought I'd start my own version of that.

I'm going to call it Sunday Searchings, and I've come up with a few different areas:
Pressing On  - which will include my goals about Bible study, memorization, practical changes to help my walk, edification, etc.
Train them up - which will include my goals for the boys I nanny and also research in general for future reference should I ever have the blessing of being a mother myself.
Good, not harm - This will include goals concerning my relationship with Tony, and even more than that goals concerning becoming the woman of God I should be.
Keeper at home - Even though I'm not married, I do still have an apartment and a roommate, and I reckon it's important to hone the house keeping sort of skills/gifts even now. This area will be concerning that.
Love at all times - Which will include goals concerning my friendships and my relationships with my family members.

Pressing On
     - Finish (at least) the first chapter of John in my in-depth study of the Gospel
     - Memorize John 1:9-13
     - Actually wake at 5:00 each day...No snooze button, Mary, come on.
     - Finish reading The Forgotten Trinity.

Train Them Up
     - Pray for Jack and Flynn each day
     - Look up at least one new activity and try with the boys
     - Research biblical use of spanking

Good, Not Harm
     - Pray for Tony each day
     - Reflect on first section of Proverbs 31 study and do the next section.
     - Encourage Tony in a new way somehow.

Keeper At Home
     - Try out making some sort of squash side dish
     - Clean apartment
     - Check the vacuum and pray it's not actually broken :P
     - Shop - for groceries and needed cleaning supplies, etc

Love At All Time
     - Pray for each family member each day
     - Call at least one sibling/parent to check in
     - Send mom back her card
     - Think of one unexpected thing I could do for Amber and do it. 

You Wouldn't Cry

I think perhaps today was more difficult, in many ways, than the day of the funeral. It was my first day back to work and the real world. Today was the first day since the day Lissi Dear died that I've had to force myself to realize that time and the world have not stopped. I am not in Ohio anymore. And while I love living here in Georgia, it was helpful to be in Ohio with all my family. This is the first day I've not had any family members around to laugh with and reminisce about Melissa with. The day of the funeral, I was determined to keep my composure until after I did the reading, and I did. As I found out today, it is far more difficult to keep my composure for 9 hours at work. It's also far more difficult to break down without a plethora of people who love me, to hug me when I do. Especially Tony - it's incredibly difficult to cry and not have him there to hug me and whisper to me that it's okay, and to remind me over and over that God has got my dear sister in His loving hands.

The whole morning I kept expecting my phone to go off, with a text saying "Good morning beautiful. Have a good day! Love you!" from Lissi. My phone didn't ring with that text today. It never will again. It's realities like this that seem to be the most difficult so far. Each one I make is a little like hearing the news of her passing all over again.

Today, when my boss got home, I said goodbye to the kiddos and got in my car. That was the moment my composure broke. And my first thought was that there was no one there to hug me....It seems like it's the silliest of times when I forget that the One who is the greatest Comforter. So I poured out my heart to God, and of course that helped...but I was still crying.

Without really thinking about it, I had put in Mandisa's cd Freedom that morning, so it was still on during my drive home. It finally came to the last song, and while it induced some tears, it also calmed them. It fit what my heart was crying perfectly. And it was the perfect reminder of the beautiful reality that Melissa had rested in Him. I remember, shortly after Melissa's surgery, we had a long conversation. We had talked about salvation and we talked through the Gospel. The conversation ended with us praying together. After my flight home last Thursday morning, God had perfectly planned a conversation with my aunt which allowed me to know that she did indeed cling to Him for her salvation. So I needn't cry for her today. Instead, I will keep singing Hallelujah.

There is a man..

There is a man who is honorable. A man who guards his mind and the mind of others. Who will stop a conversation and redirect it when it gets anywhere near a topic in which sons and daughters of God should not be engaging.

There is man who is humorous. A man who isn't afraid to be a tad goofy and who always can induce chuckles. Whose humor spans from geeky jokes about Star Wars to clever jokes about theology.

There is a man who is chivalrous. A man who still opens doors, pulls out chairs, removes his hat inside,  and delights in treating a lady to dinner. A man who does this genuinely and not just because he knows he should.

There is a man who is gentle. A man who can simultaneously cheer up and comfort a lady, with kind words, practical advice, and sincere empathy. A man who can do nothing more than simply hold a lady's hand and somehow offer so much peace.

There is a man who is protector. A man who will draw his verbal sword to defend a lady when someone has hurt her. Who I reckon would draw his actual sword if it came to it, and if he had a sword. ;)
There is a man who is thoughtful. A man who will buy a stuffed lamb for a lady so she can hug it when she's missing him.

There is a man who is humble. A man who will probably feel a bit uncomfortable reading this, and not because it's mushy. A man who knows who he is, but also Whose he is.

There is a man who is godly. A man who will toss aside his own opinions, beliefs, and ways  the minute he learns what God says. A man who is more than willing and more than happy to sit and talk about Scripture for hours on end. A man who is as studious as Jonathan Edwards, that he might have a ready defense for his faith. A man of prayer and of truth. A man who will share the gospel through words and his life.  A man who will point a lady's focus back to where it should be with a question like, "Are you trying to impress Christ or me?" A man who will leave you thinking more about Christ than himself.

There is a man whom I am blessed to know, whom I thank God for daily, and whom I love very much.

Happy Birthday, wonderful man! Te adoro!

On my mind...

On My Mind - how much we acknowledge truths, but let it stop there. We remember and even esteem truths (and those who do let the truth affect their lives). But why do we so often (indeed, more often than not) back away from living truth out in our lives? Especially since part of the truth is that we are meant to live the truths....

.."we think grand thoughts and live horrible lives"..

we read His Word and think that because we've read it and perhaps acknowledged it in our minds, that we've got it. Then when push comes to shove, we want to put blame on God because things aren't as they should be. But really, it's us. Seeking and loving Him with all our hearts, soul, mind, strength does not stop with simple acknowledgement.

And why is it that so often, when we do let our acknowledgement go farther than our heads, we have a limit to it? Like there's some point where we can stop yielding to Him...there's some line where everything becomes too extreme to change anything for God.

Like His goal isn't to make us holy like Him...like the perfection and completion He wants to bring us to according to His Word is actually our happiness and comfort...



Oh Lord, get rid of this limit in me wherever there is one...I passionately hate this limit, line, whatever would be best to describe it. I hate it, loathe it, despise it...in everyone....especially in myself. Please, rip it out of me if You need to. I don't care how much it takes or how much it hurts. Get. Rid. Of. It.