1 John 2:15-16
15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.
I've read these verses so many times, and have figured that for the most part I don't love the world. After all, I don't look at things the way a lot of the world does, and I live my life differently than many. (Talk about pride, eh?) But, if I'm honest with myself, there are things from this world I have not let go of. Whether it's trying to gain approval from people or watching tv shows that are less than edifying.
About a year ago, I asked God what in my life was leading me to compromises. I asked Him to show me what things I needed to get rid of in order to get closer to Him. He led me to several changes that allowed me to be more free to pursue Him. Some of these things were tv shows and movies (not all, but certain types). I did well about avoiding them for quite a while. But then, I let myself get comfortable. I thought that since I was closer to God than I ever have been, that adding some of these shows that I liked back into my life wouldn't be that big of a deal.
So, I started watching different shows again. The one that comes to mind first is Supernatural...I loooove that show. Despite the fact that it terrifies me, they say Revelations instead of Revelation, and depict angels and God rather incorrectly, I find it quite entertaining. Since I've started up at watching this show again, I've heard God ask me to stop watching it. And of course, I've argued with Him about that.
I desperately look for a way to justify it. (Which is a compromise in itself. That's just what Satan wants me to do. Once I justify one small thing, I'll try to justify more and bigger things.) I tell God that I really want to see what happens next. And He asks me if it's worth it. I tell Him it's just entertainment. An enjoyable way to just relax, and He asks me why I relax by watching a show rather than spending time with Him. So, I tell Him that I'll watch the show and talk to Him about it, during it. (Literally - they'll say something about angels and I'll be like, "Lord, that's not exactly correct is it?")...I know, I'm completely reaching at this point.
It's not as though watching television is horrible. I've never been one for legalism and I'm not about to become someone who says that everyone should give up certain shows, movies, music, etc. But I've found that my own personal walk with Him is greatly affected by even these little things. It's not that Supernatural sways me against Him or anything - well unless you count that I choose to watch it when I could be spending time with Him. But it does affect my thinking. Just like what I eat affects my body, even if it's just a little piece of chocolate here and there, that adds up. What I eat mentally works the same way. And of course, once I compromise a little, it becomes all too easy to compromise more. I watch one episode of Supernatural, and it's just all too easy to sit there and watch another, or a different show.
As I'm thinking about all this, I'm wondering if my reluctance to let go is really me loving the world. Am I loving the desire of my eyes more than my God? I can't deny that's what my actions say. And yet, even realizing this, I am still hesitant about giving up certain things. I ask myself, "What will people think?" "What will they think when I tell them I am not going to watch something with them?" "Won't it make me seem like a crazy Christian?" And then I realize these questions are just more me holding on to the world - this time my need for people's approval.
Galations1:10
10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Time to really ask myself who I am serving...Lord, please help my answer be You.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
My Best Friend
I’ve read so many letters and such to/about loved ones over the years, whether it’s for a birthday, anniversary, or another special occasion. Each time I read one, I get teary at the beauty of it. So, today, being the most special anniversary of my heart, I figured I would join in on the sappiness. Not that words could ever do Him justice, but I thought I would celebrate meeting my Best Friend. So, here’s my ode to Him, if you will.
Five years ago today, I sat in my living room and pressed play on the cd. For a while, I was so lost in the sound of the voice coming out of the speakers, I didn’t even hear You come in and introduce Yourself. I didn’t acknowledge that You say down beside me. I ignored Your presence just like I had each day of my life before then. And You just sat, patiently, waiting for me to turn my head and see You sitting there. For several songs, You whispered to me – encouragement and love, invitations of a life-changing friendship. And still I ignored You. Yet, still, You sat next to me, already knowing me better than I do. You sat in patient love, waiting for the perfect moment to soften my heart in the way that only You possibly could. And then, the next song started, and You began to sing along. Your voice was unlike anything I had ever heard. The tone was strong, victorious, and mighty, yet gentle, loving and full of peace. I finally looked at You, still unsure if I was ready for a friendship with You. I knew once I got to know You nothing would be the same – I wouldn’t be the same. But Your voice was so pure, I knew You could be trusted. Questions for You came flooding out of my heart and mouth. You looked at me with love in Your eyes, listening intently to each. Some You answered; most You told me the answer would come if I was willing to let You answer it in the most beautiful way later on. You know me – that got me frustrated – and I started to cry. Once again, You knew exactly what I needed and You hugged me tight. You held me, not wanting to let go, but prepared to if I demanded. But I felt safe in Your arms, and I told you so. I never wanted You to let go, and being the loving friend You are, You never have.
Instead, You and I started on this wonderful journey. I went off to college and You became my home away from home. The darkness came and You were my light. Heartache and You were my Healer. I got lost and you made a path for me back to the road. You opened doors and took my hand while I walked through them. Sometimes, I couldn’t or wouldn’t walk through on my own, so You carried me. When I was unsure about something, You were there to be my Counselor who shut out the world with Your unmatchable wisdom. I fell and You were the hand of grace to pick me up again. And even when I would argue with You, You didn’t argue back. You simply listened and spoke to me with patience, truth and love, until I surrendered. You never threw anything back in my face, and when I finally would admit that You were right, You weren’t boastful. You would chuckle softly and hug me like You did the day we met.
So many times over the past five years, You’ve opened Your mouth to sing for me, and each time I was left astounded. I never get tired of it or used to its miraculous sound. Every time I hear a new (to me anyway) quality in Your melodies. The more I know You, the more I want to know You. The more I know You, the more I realize how much I still don’t know You yet. It leaves me desperate for the next singing lesson You have planned.
Jesus, thank You for being my song for the past five years. Here’s to an eternity more. I love You, too.
Five years ago today, I sat in my living room and pressed play on the cd. For a while, I was so lost in the sound of the voice coming out of the speakers, I didn’t even hear You come in and introduce Yourself. I didn’t acknowledge that You say down beside me. I ignored Your presence just like I had each day of my life before then. And You just sat, patiently, waiting for me to turn my head and see You sitting there. For several songs, You whispered to me – encouragement and love, invitations of a life-changing friendship. And still I ignored You. Yet, still, You sat next to me, already knowing me better than I do. You sat in patient love, waiting for the perfect moment to soften my heart in the way that only You possibly could. And then, the next song started, and You began to sing along. Your voice was unlike anything I had ever heard. The tone was strong, victorious, and mighty, yet gentle, loving and full of peace. I finally looked at You, still unsure if I was ready for a friendship with You. I knew once I got to know You nothing would be the same – I wouldn’t be the same. But Your voice was so pure, I knew You could be trusted. Questions for You came flooding out of my heart and mouth. You looked at me with love in Your eyes, listening intently to each. Some You answered; most You told me the answer would come if I was willing to let You answer it in the most beautiful way later on. You know me – that got me frustrated – and I started to cry. Once again, You knew exactly what I needed and You hugged me tight. You held me, not wanting to let go, but prepared to if I demanded. But I felt safe in Your arms, and I told you so. I never wanted You to let go, and being the loving friend You are, You never have.
Instead, You and I started on this wonderful journey. I went off to college and You became my home away from home. The darkness came and You were my light. Heartache and You were my Healer. I got lost and you made a path for me back to the road. You opened doors and took my hand while I walked through them. Sometimes, I couldn’t or wouldn’t walk through on my own, so You carried me. When I was unsure about something, You were there to be my Counselor who shut out the world with Your unmatchable wisdom. I fell and You were the hand of grace to pick me up again. And even when I would argue with You, You didn’t argue back. You simply listened and spoke to me with patience, truth and love, until I surrendered. You never threw anything back in my face, and when I finally would admit that You were right, You weren’t boastful. You would chuckle softly and hug me like You did the day we met.
So many times over the past five years, You’ve opened Your mouth to sing for me, and each time I was left astounded. I never get tired of it or used to its miraculous sound. Every time I hear a new (to me anyway) quality in Your melodies. The more I know You, the more I want to know You. The more I know You, the more I realize how much I still don’t know You yet. It leaves me desperate for the next singing lesson You have planned.
Jesus, thank You for being my song for the past five years. Here’s to an eternity more. I love You, too.
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