This weekend, God gave me lessons on grace. And how grateful am I for that! Friday, I woke up not feeling well at all. It just kept getting worse, to the point where a friend was going to walk me back to my dorm room. A staff member caught up with us, told me that she didn't want me in the dorms alone in case of an emergency, prayed for me, and let me sit in the back of the chapel. Suddenly, I was hearing a message on Right-handedness. And it begun with talking about the rights we feel we have. That was the first time God pricked my heart. I thought that because I didn't feel well, I had "the right" to check out. That everyone would understand if I just laid down across the chairs - that's all my body would let me do really. But God whispered, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in your weakness".
It wasn't just encouragement or positive thinking as I had approached this verse in the past. It was God explaining to me what He was about to do. His grace is His Spirit working in and through me. He reminded me of this and I took a sigh of relief. I didn't have to do anything but surrender. He wanted me to sit up, pay attention, and take notes. And since I was too weak to do it, He lovingly did it for me. I went on the rest of the day, feeling ill, but letting His right-hand have control and uphold me. I never felt better, though I was feeling awful. Ha!
Saturday, though, was worse. I felt even more ill than on Friday. And I couldn't stop the tears from coming because it seemed I couldn't just surrender to His grace that day. All I could think about was how badly it hurt, how much I was shaking, and how my eyes couldn't focus on much of anything. The same staff member who cared for me on Friday came to me again and prayed with me. she encouraged me to turn outward. That there were other students who were ill as well.
Suddenly I realized the enemy had so much power over me when it comes to sickness. He probably gets so excited because he knows he can convince me to just look out for me. Thankfully, I realized this and refused this time. While I did lay down and rest, I surrendered to His grace rather than self-centeredness. I began to pray for my classmates who were sick. Within an hour (I think - I know it wasn't much more than that) I was feeling much better. Not shaky, I could see and my head wasn't throbbing nearly as much.
I went outside with my friend who graciously checked on me periodically. I was about to learn an incredibly valuable lesson - one which now seems like "Duh, Mary". She hadn't been feeling well that morning either, but God asked her to be focused outward on me instead. And there I was, praying for her. I also found out that she was feeling better as well!
Oh my, how His grace works! When everyone is turned outward, everyone is taken care of! Why we ever buy the enemy's lies that we need to take care of ourselves is baffling to me now!
No comments:
Post a Comment