I love the world?

1 John 2:15-16
15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world.

I've read these verses so many times, and have figured that for the most part I don't love the world. After all, I don't look at things the way a lot of the world does, and I live my life differently than many. (Talk about pride, eh?) But, if I'm honest with myself, there are things from this world I have not let go of. Whether it's trying to gain approval from people or watching tv shows that are less than edifying.

About a year ago, I asked God what in my life was leading me to compromises. I asked Him to show me what things I needed to get rid of in order to get closer to Him. He led me to several changes that allowed me to be more free to pursue Him. Some of these things were tv shows and movies (not all, but certain types). I did well about avoiding them for quite a while. But then, I let myself get comfortable. I thought that since I was closer to God than I ever have been, that adding some of these shows that I liked back into my life wouldn't be that big of a deal.

So, I started watching different shows again. The one that comes to mind first is Supernatural...I loooove that show. Despite the fact that it terrifies me, they say Revelations instead of Revelation, and depict angels and God rather incorrectly, I find it quite entertaining. Since I've started up at watching this show again, I've heard God ask me to stop watching it. And of course, I've argued with Him about that.

I desperately look for a way to justify it. (Which is a compromise in itself. That's just what Satan wants me to do. Once I justify one small thing, I'll try to justify more and bigger things.) I tell God that I really want to see what happens next. And He asks me if it's worth it. I tell Him it's just entertainment. An enjoyable way to just relax, and He asks me why I relax by watching a show rather than spending time with Him. So, I tell Him that I'll watch the show and talk to Him about it, during it. (Literally - they'll say something about angels and I'll be like, "Lord, that's not exactly correct is it?")...I know, I'm completely reaching at this point.

It's not as though watching television is horrible. I've never been one for legalism and I'm not about to become someone who says that everyone should give up certain shows, movies, music, etc. But I've found that my own personal walk with Him is greatly affected by even these little things. It's not that Supernatural sways me against Him or anything - well unless you count that I choose to watch it when I could be spending time with Him. But it does affect my thinking. Just like what I eat affects my body, even if it's just a little piece of chocolate here and there, that adds up. What I eat mentally works the same way. And of course, once I compromise a little, it becomes all too easy to compromise more. I watch one episode of Supernatural, and it's just all too easy to sit there and watch another, or a different show.

As I'm thinking about all this, I'm wondering if my reluctance to let go is really me loving the world. Am I loving the desire of my eyes more than my God? I can't deny that's what my actions say. And yet, even realizing this, I am still hesitant about giving up certain things. I ask myself, "What will people think?" "What will they think when I tell them I am not going to watch something with them?" "Won't it make me seem like a crazy Christian?" And then I realize these questions are just more me holding on to the world - this time my need for people's approval.

Galations1:10
10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Time to really ask myself who I am serving...Lord, please help my answer be You.